Fighting Through Pain
Dearly beloved: May GOD’s peace, mercy, love, joy, and healing grace be ever upon you. Pain, it is the most difficult of all our emotions. It is also the most destructive. If left to fester, it leads to hate, anger and sadness. If we do not control it, it makes us depressed and causes us to lash out. As a convict in a supermax prison, I am living in a house of pain. I myself sometimes suffer from it. It is very easy to fall into despair when you are serving a life sentence for crimes you did not commit. Satan loves to kick us when we are down. He often tries to plant doubt in my head. He tells me there is no use in fighting for my freedom or seeking justice. He tells me that I am worthless and hopeless. He tells me that no matter what I do I will die in here. He tells me that nobody cares about a colored ex-drug dealer and alcoholic. He tells me that I am a failure and. a loser who is washed up. He says I am nothing more than a waste of talent and no one will take pity on me or believe in me. I am not going to lie to you. Even as a man of faith, sometimes I want to give up and believe his dirty lies. There are times when my family is not able to visit me for months. During those times I often break down and cry. I sleep all day unable to get out of bed. A lot of you know exactly what I am talking about. Don’t you? Don’t you just want to give up and die sometimes? You see, we may not be in the same boat, but we are all traveling on a turbulent river called life. We can relate on many levels. You know what I do at my lowest points? I pray and read my bible and sometimes I feel instant joy, but other times it takes me a while to come out of my funk. This situation hurts and at times it feels hopeless. (more…)
